TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL

It’s pretty bad when the only man around to offer some support and assistance in a medical emergency is the married man with 2 kids who’s supposed to be nothing but a good friend. I find myself catching feelings….not because I’m going to do anything about (for god’s sake he’s married) but because he’s there. I guess it’s an emotional attachment if you will.

 Funny how the men who have been around for over 10 years claiming how much they love me and adore me are no where to be found and are too busy bitching about how they scuffed their new pair of jordan’s and didn’t get a large fry with their fucking value meal. Now I realize that I have cut a lot of these fuckers off just for that reason alone but christ…is it too much to ask to have one of these people who said they’d always be there…who annoyed me for years and years telling me that they’d never crawl out of my ass if something bad happened ….who ran around telling everyone who would listen that I would be sick of them by the time it was all over because even if I didn’t want to be bothered and couldn’t admit to needing help, they’d be there..to be here.  To sit here and drink a beer with me….make fun of my terrible medical luck, watch a horror movie, and give me a fucking hug? 

No, Really..is that too much to ask for?

I guess.

Fuck that shit. 

People always ask why I don’t trust anyone and why I always try to go it on my own…because when I can finally admit that I do need one of those people to hold me down like I always did for them they are too busy with themselves to even notice that I need them. Then they’re the first people to bitch when I’m not cleaning up the mess that is their lives even though mine is shattered on the ground right beside theirs.

Ridiculous.

Fail. 

Epic..fucking…fail.